Fear (Part 1): The Brain Eating Amoeba and New Years Resolutions

by Matt on January 28, 2013


Last year, one of my  resolutions, or intentions as I think of them now, was to overcome my fears-of which I have now learned, are MANY!

  1. Singing in front of people.
  2. Making the wrong decision.
  3. Getting a disease and/or dying.
  4. Bugs, having my property stolen, and more..


So, the latest, most prevalent, and obvious fear I have is disease and death. And it showed up big time last year, and last week. Not surprisingly, because of my commitment at new years resolution time last year to “overcome my fears,” the fear that many say is the fear which all other fears come from, showed up.

On Saturday last, I “accidentally”(there are no accidents!) inhaled some water from a shower at a country property up my nose. The water comes from a well which is neither filtered nor treated, goes into an above-ground holding tank, then into a water heater and then into the house’s sinks, showers, etc.

It was just one little drop, but I felt it very clearly go right up into my nose, and then I blew it out.

Right then, however, I was reminded of a story from last year about a couple of people in Louisiana dying from a “brain eating amoeba!” Begin my newest lesson on the fear of Death.

A little research on the disease made me feel both better and worse. For one, you only get the infection from getting the water up your nose. Crap. The infection is almost always in the summer months and from lakes and ponds in the southern tier states(here in the U.S.A.). So it coming from a well, and it being January, was welcome news to me. Oh, but it can also grow in water heaters where the water system is unfiltered. Hmmm. There are only 32 cases in the U.S. From 2001 till 2011, which makes the infection very rare. Good! But of those 32 cases, 31 were fatal.”

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Ok, so that’s a little taste of what my week has been like. There has been a lot more fear than normal present, but I have learned so much about my fear this week. Like when I had all but forgotten about it after about 3 days, when, bam, I got a nosebleed! Only to then find out, that this is NOT one of the symptoms.

More on my ill-advised but well-meaning Intention/Resolution from 2012 to get over my fears:

Last spring, I was doing a cleanse, and ate some crackers that were not on the diet, only to find out the next day that there was mouse poop in the bag where I ate the crackers from! AH! Yep, you guessed it, I was under-attack from the Junta Virus, present in mouse poop, in the area where I was, southern Colorado. There is up to a 1-month incubation period. If you get flu like symptoms, go immediately to the hospital, because if it’s the Junta Virus, and not the Flu, your lungs will fill with fluid, quite suddenly, and unless you are in the hospital when this happens, you will most likely die. (note: You have to breathe the virus into your lungs.)

Just as I was getting clear of this incubation period, I was sitting in meditation, and felt a little sensation on my leg. A tick. Ah! Swat! It fell to the ground, I crushed it then stuck it in a jar to save “just in case we needed the antidote!” of course. The anti-dote to Lyme disease. A slow degenerative disease carried by just this species of tick, I learned.

What A Wimp!

Ok. I know what your saying. It’s probably a version of, “get over yourself, scaredy-cat,” and “jeez, what bad luck this guy has.” Or maybe, “yeah, I get scared of all kinds of things too!”

So immediately after getting out of the shower and blowing my nose(remember we are talking about one drop of water- but amoebas are small!) I pulled some GSE(grapefruit seed extract) out of my bag and snorted, undiluted, a couple drops up my nostril. That was enlightening. GSE is a solution that is both anti-bacterial and anti-viral, and can be used to wash vegetables, take when you have food-poising, among other uses. I’ve read they add it to laundry machines in hospitals.

It “burned like hell” so I knew it was working! Then, as I was going to town anyway, I stopped at a drug store and got some “Ocean” which a nasal irrigation spray- and used it.

(I should note here that I was working during these days in very dry and dusty conditions, so probably that, mixed with the GSE snort, was the cause of my subsequent nosebleed.)

So about that Brain Eating Amoeba?

I’m in the clear, as you might have guessed.

This was the most acute fear, death fear, I have experienced in a while and guess what? I wrote the majority of this article while within the 5-day window. I worked full days while in the past I might have “called in sick.” I slept pretty well. I knew exactly what to do when the fear would start to creep and I let it TEACH me instead of rule me. I wrote a couple new songs. I started work on an album of music with a producer. I had a nice night off in Austin hanging with friends.

My point is, I handled this way better-WAY better than I would have a few years ago.

Are you Anxious, Scared, Sad?

The major thrust of what I bring to the table in my Hero and Breathwork sessions is this:  We start where you are, explore where you are not being loving (the opposite of fear) and work to convert those behaviors into loving behaviors using simple practices that you integrate into your daily life. It’s not always easy but the results speak for themselves.

Results: happiness, new experiences, more and more positive results from your efforts, less anxiety, and if you stay with it and allow it to be: YOU GET TO LIVE YOUR DREAMS.


Here is my first tip to get you started on how to go about getting what you want from your life.(I made you work a little, so those that are still reading, you are the hungry ones, and the ones most likely to get what you want from your life: Congrats!)

Remember that intention or resolution that I had to “overcome my fears?” Well, I think what I actually wrote was to “conquer my fears.” The Universe has a way of sending you exactly what you ask for and so it started sending me a bunch of “chances” to do just that: Fight with, battle, and try to “beat” my fears.

This year, when writing my intentions I am going to include this instead:

“To see the Joy and Love in every moment.”

It’s really the same intention, but the focus is on the positive side of the equation. Say, write it down, and repeat your wants and intention in the positive!

So that this year…the focus will be on Love.

Thanks For Reading,


PS.  If you have a story to share about fear or questions you can comment below or send me a message through the contact form on this website.

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Jeni! January 29, 2013 at 11:26 pm

You crack me up! I would have been scared as shit, too, but you tell the stories so awesomely! I’m so glad you are alive Matt 😀


Matt January 30, 2013 at 4:30 pm

Thanks Jeni! Note: there will be more Parts coming as I unravel the the lie of fear.


Dalia January 30, 2013 at 10:36 am

Now that’s funny. Not your feelings, but that I do the same thing with the oddest fears. For a couple of years now I’ve glanced at the time at the same time, day or evening, and it’s become a weird obsession/fear of mine. I (half)joke it’s my time of death. Recently I was flying home from NY and glanced at my phone to see the time and boom right in my face the numbers showed that time. I have a fear of flying so I freaked until those numbers changed. It was so funny. I can laugh at myself later but yeah, it freaks me out. 🙂


Matt January 30, 2013 at 4:37 pm

Interesting Dahlia, your time obsession sounds like a synchronicity to me. I am studying some different opinions on that topic currently: Jung, David F. Peat, and Julia Cameron, to name a few, and they say when you have a convergence of something like the same numbers repeating, there is an underlying archetypal force that has appeared in your perception, maybe for a reason, like getting you to notice something, or trying to wake you up. Spooky. They used to call it serendipity and it was a good thing! No worries! I’ll be writing about that soon. Thanks for reading and sharing!


LadyCharb August 9, 2013 at 1:24 pm

I’m afraid of sharks.
I’m afraid of airplanes.
I’m afraid of snakes.
I’m afraid of spiders.
I’m afraid of car accidents.
I’m afraid of being abducted.
I’m afraid of being murdered.
I’m hugely afraid of dying.
I’m hugely afraid of my loved ones dying.
I’m afraid of what’s in the dark.
I’m afraid of ANYTHING happening to my dogs.
lets face it this list could probably go on all day,
BUT I have the same fear of this amoeba and we’ve actually been talking about it lately bc we heard it’s in Lake Travis. I guess the water level is at an all time low and with the heat, the amoeba is present…? Know anything about that?

Also, to kinda touch on the time thing above, I wake up to use the restroom every single night right around 3am, give or take a few mins. A friend told me this is the hour when spirits try to connect. This scares me and I try to keep my eyes closed because I’m not sure I want to see a spirit watching me pee, and maybe I’m just not ready for that type of interaction…? I believe in spirits and a life beyond this one, but maybe I’m not ready for confirmation. Maybe because I’m so afraid of death?
Justin has been experiencing a weird thing lately where every time he looks at the clock or if random things are assigned a number, it’s 11:37/1137. This was the home address of his best friend that died in a tragic car accident. I know he takes the moment to reflect but I wonder if there’s something more to it.

Okay. That is all.



Matt August 17, 2013 at 11:10 am

Interesting LadyCharb!

Yes, there are synchronicities happening(like the clock thing with Justin) and it is a little understood phenomena… Some talk about how it is guidance from the Universe, on some level, and that the underlying science is just becoming known(through quantum physics). Jung first studied it in the modern era, and many are trying to understand it more. The Artist’s Way talk about it as though “we are on to something” when synchronicity is happening, and explains that it a part of Spiritual Electricity that is ignited through the creative process. have him notice what he is thinking about when he sees this number pop up… also, stop and look around at what else is happening and see if there is a pattern.

It’s fun! Also, my intuition is nudging me to say something about trust. Trust that all things are working exactly as they are supposed to for the greatest benefit of all is the flip-side of fear. However, it can be that fear is waking you up to something, maybe that you need more trust in these Spirits around you. My experience is that though it can be a little freaky, at first, they are benevolent and trying to help you… Much Love, Matt


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