The Courage and Benefits of Telling the Truth

by Matt on September 23, 2013

I’ve been thinking about and experimenting with “the truth” lately.

Many understandings of the truth are out there, and one is that the Truth Will Set You Free.

Being interested in, and committed to, my own freedom, I had to try “telling the microscopic truth” and can report that my experiments have indeed lead me into a new sense of freedom.

I have seen that telling the truth about my thoughts, feelings and desires to the people it matters to is an important thing to do. Epiphany, right? You may be thinking, “duh!” or you may be thinking, “don’t do it you idiot, you’re stirring up a hornet’s nest.” (actually, I did stir up a hornet’s nest a couple weeks ago while working on the farm).

A Little Truth About Me

So, here’s a bit of truth to my readers, I work for my family in all kinds of capacities on farms and ranches mostly in Texas. I’ve been doing this because my music and healing work, while adding a good little chunk of income to my bottom line, is not enough to support me yet. I see that I am in some ways embarrassed by not being able, yet, to be able to fully shift over, but I see the progress, and am learning valuable lessons about work and money and freedom in the process.

I have had to have what for me are difficult, challenging, conversations with people I love. The gold that I am finding, after having lived a life of with-holding the truth about what I am really thinking or feeling, because of the fear built up in me about being myself(can you relate?), is that releasing those truths to the people it matters to really speeds up the rate at which things can get “worked out.”

Saying things that are hard to say give the parties the information they need, that they are in fact entitled to, so that they may make the decisions that they need to make. This honors yourself, so you don’t have to feel inauthentic in dealings with this person(or yourself), and it honors them that they are “in” on what is happening. And, what I’ve noticed, is that the better you are at this, the more naturally and efficiently “problems” are solved.

Of course, timing does play an important role in how well the “truth” is received by the person you are talking with. Also, there are going to be thoughts and feelings that are inappropriate to tell someone, so work on discerning whether it’s truly important for the evolution of yourself or that person to reveal that thought or feeling.

Truth is Natural

They say that nature is the “original guru.” Basically this means that great wisdom can be learned from observing nature; observing the natural flow of things.

My observation is that in nature, there’s only truth, and nature is very efficient. When there is a void created by an animals death, another animal replaces it. When grass is cut, it grows back in the perfect amount of time, with out struggle, and without anybody asking it to. When an animal dies, and is out in the field, nature’s perfect efficiency sends over the vultures to clean that bacterial mess quickly turning a “hazard” into fertilizer.

The point is this: Nature tells the truth, or operates in truth, and is processed with perfect efficiency. We can do the same, of course our minds may tell us otherwise.

Being Ok with Truth

What is my truth? Is it the same today as it was yesterday? Do my thoughts represent “the truth” or “my truth in this moment.” If I treat myself with gentle kindness I can see that my truth is evolving, and I can open to the notion that the people around me have an “evolving truth” as well. Holding this precept in mind during a difficult conversation allows for a lot more compassion for ourselves and others, because change is the normal and natural state of living things.

When we hold people around us to something they said or did in the past, we can imprison them in the thinking that things are static and that they have no choice, even if new information comes to light, or perspective or desires have shifted. This is not to say we should let people wiggle out of commitments either, but that we can love them through their struggle and allow for new pathways to unfold.

Shifting from dialogue where we withhold, or downright lie, out of our own fear of what is to being able to tell the truth can be tricky and bring up challenging situations. The underlying challenge is to recognize that telling the truth doesn’t change Who We Are. It changes How We are Choosing To Show Up to Our Loved Ones. Do you see the value in showing up as you; and the cost of showing up as some appropriated, unnatural, and inauthentic YOU?

So my questions for you to ponder are:
Who are you?
Do you know your truth? Are you confused a lot?
Are you afraid of speaking about, or as, who you are?
What fear might be underneath being and speaking as who you really are?

Write down these questions and answer them for yourself.

And, let me know if you uncover anything interesting!

Sincerely, Matt

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Debby September 23, 2013 at 4:02 pm

Great post Matt! I’d also add that in order to share our truth with others, we have to be willing to see our own “evolving” truth…which can be challenging sometimes. Especially when we fear the truth or what may happen if we express it. Often the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves, and it definitely takes courage to be truthful, to both ourselves and others. Thank you for shedding light on the topic!

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